My favorite thing to imagine is the unceremonious killing of clueless guards by an intruder or escapee. I generally prefer the victims to be female foot soldiers of villainy.
Why?
I did not choose my interest. I happened upon it while watching television and movies. I read it in comic books. I was sexually aroused by the easy killing of sentries. My formative inspirations were male or robot victims, so you know.
This all developed during my childhood. It started years before puberty. I was attracted to useless guards before I was to girls. I imagined myself as such guards.
I played the easy victims with friends. An older and bigger boy snatched me into a choke-hold from behind. I struggled feebly. I am still aroused by the memory.
As I matured I fancied role-playing the killer. A girl played the sentry. I gave her a toy gun to hold. I would snatch her over the mouth from behind and she would sink to the floor. I “killed” her over and over and over again. I played the same game with a little boy. Apparently I was bisexual until puberty set me straight.
I am now middle-aged. The fancy of my childhood has
become my specialty as a writer, artist and game designer. I have never played “silencing
the sentry” since adulthood. I instead reminisce as I write or render my
everlasting delight.
Stuff found in childhood often leads to a person's interest. I was inundated with furry stuff growing up. Like our video tape collection was full of it.
ReplyDeleteUnlike adults, children are not ashamed of their interests. They do not need to understand what they like to like it. This may be why we find what we love while young.
DeleteWe discover what we like, and then learn why it interests us. As our awareness grows the manifestation changes, but not the inspiration. That which first drew us will continue to do so.
ReplyDeleteYes. The love is within but we must notice it to see it. We need time to understand the emotion, and learning to understand is the fun part.
DeleteWe don't choose our interests, our interests choose us to make something of them. A genuine interest never changes or fades.
ReplyDeleteYes. Shame on us if we squander these interests.
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