Dreary Days of the Seven Years

My mother died seven years ago. She was not dying at the time. I visited her the very day before.

God exists but honestly, he does fall woefully short. No, he did not create evil or its murder and mayhem. Disease and disability are not his ideas. He favors the wicked, however. He then laments that all is in vain. He punishes the innocent for the sins of the shameless.

I am hot. Satan is cold. God is lukewarm. All that I do I do in all sincerity. Satan is the father of lies. God cares only not to care and bothers only not to bother.

The weather today is as it was seven years ago: dreary. My father asked me to visit but indirectly. I visited him only yesterday. I have no place to stay with him… because he would rather cast pearls before swine.

The Way goes nowhere. The Truth is uninspiring. Life is drudgery.

As things are, God is greater than his sinners… but no better. His knowledge and power are his greatness. Is this what distinguishes the wicked from the righteous? I shall have none of it.

There is a spirit of God not his own called “holy” by his Word. It is the imperfection never to blame. It is the innocence by which evil is even possible.

God made a leap of faith. If he fails the jump, we are all doomed.

My mother was alive, not a ghost, after she died… before she died… because Jesus made that jump. If he makes it, my mother’s call was not in vain.

Sexual Humanity

Men are aroused by the breasts and buttocks of women. Yes, there are men who prefer boys, men or animals but these are deviants.

Women are aroused by success, a resonant and melodious voice, a playful wit or a reassuring smile. Oh, there are many exceptions but only because women are silly creatures.

Our sexuality is diverse. It is often perverse. It is the thing that makes anything and everything interesting.

Many women fantasize about being raped or murdered… though they would rather not be raped or murdered. The thrill of the fantasy is that it would be a terrible reality. The severity is exciting and the grim intimacy sexually interesting.

Many men fantasize about women being bound and gagged. Even those who do not are aroused by the idea. I find it sexy, as a fantasy. My compassion would not abide another person’s plight.

Our sexual fantasies do not always agree with our real preferences. They may be so outlandish as to be entirely impossible. They may not even involve our direct participation, even as a daydream.

I was sexually aroused by a fiction in a comic book: An armed man clad in full armor and anonymous behind a mask is standing guard. He is unaware of the monstrous pair of hands reaching for him… until they grab him by his helm and a shoulder and snap his masked face past the shoulder.

The killer and victim alike were male. The hero was the monster and the hapless baddie a human being. Though armed, armored and vigilant the victim proved helpless: He was smaller, weaker and easily caught unawares. The kill was unceremonious yet dramatic. The victim was left sprawled at his post to be found dead by his fellows.

I am a compassionate and heterosexual man who favors humans above all other creatures… yet I enjoyed every connotation of the provided fantasy.

Behavior is reality. Daydreaming is fantasy. Behave responsibly. Fantasize whimsically. Your humanity is worth the bother.

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Death Fetish

Killing is thrilling! Right or wrong have nothing to do with the harsh reality. A creature is stimulated by the initiation and realization of destroying another creature.

Unlike animals, we are spiritual entities. Our reality is above and beyond material cause and effect. Primal impulses and instant gratification ultimately frustrate us if they do not come to a higher fruition.

Anyone who equates animal life with human life… is an idiot. Anyone who favors animal life is a blithering idiot. Need I explain what should be obvious?

The sanctity of human life is what makes destroying it especially thrilling.

Accidents, catastrophes, disease and animal attacks kill people. We are horrified but the horror is a cheap thrill. There are no spiritual connotations other than souls were stripped of their bodies and loved ones are left to mourn.

A person taking the initiative to destroy another is a spiritually powerful connotation. Killing is its physical manifestation. The default is murder but as defense, mercy or righteous vengeance the connotation assumes a different meaning, like the use of the same word in a different sentence.

Good people do not mean to harm other people. They will, however, and wholeheartedly to protect and avenge the innocent.

There is nothing right or wrong with violence of itself. Likewise, killing is neither good nor evil of itself. Such violence is thrilling regardless, whether it horrifies or pleases.

Alignment of Perspective

Perception is not reality… but it is a story unto itself. For example: from Hitler’s perspective his struggle was good against evil. Had he won his war, his perspective would prove a legitimate “reality.”

Stalin, unlike Hitler, did not believe his own supposed beliefs. The ideals of Marxism were but a means of using perception to shape reality to his own ends.

The truth is what it is regardless of our perspectives. 2+2 always =4… no matter our bad math, intentional or otherwise. Changing the sounds and scribble we use to convey a truth does not change the truth, even in the slightest. Only our perspectives can be skewed.

A perspective divorced from reality is madness. The truth as it is, not as we perceive it to be, sets the standard by which cause and effect are righteous and effective… or not.

Good and evil are not distinctions of perspective. What you think and feel are neither good nor evil, no matter your thoughts and feelings.

A sound mind requires an honest perception of reality. Good is in accordance with the truth whereas evil is action and inaction regardless of the truth. The reality of cause and effect is decided by truth, not perception.

Truth and Justice

The religion of the world is the worship of knowledge and power. Its only commandment is: assert and prevail or concede. Its “heaven” is “to be right” and its “hell” is “to be wrong” with the understanding that might does indeed make right, even as a battle of wits.

The worship of God is the adoration of knowledge and power. Likewise, the veneration of worldly authority is the adoration of knowledge and power. Generally speaking, the gist behind theism and atheism is one and the same. They are merely rival sects of the same religion. Their arguments are accusations of heresy.

What if there is a God and he is indeed omniscient and omnipotent? So what? What does knowledge and power have to do with friendship? If God is all-knowing and all-powerful but unfriendly… he is a devil worse than any Satan imaginable.

What if there is no God? What if we really are a coincidence? Knowledge of the meaningless and power as happenstance would be as vain as ignorance and impotence. Pleasure or pain would be lost to the same oblivion.

We choose to disbelieve in the supernatural… but we all believe regardless. Even the materialist sees meaning beyond the sum circumstances. We know there is good and evil beyond mere cause and effect. Even the nihilist cannot deny his bouts of self-righteous indignation.

Our gods heavenly and worldly are weighed in a balance never swayed by knowledge or power. We declare the righteousness of our deities in supplication of a measure beyond their wisdom and might. For all our worship of knowledge and power… truth and justice are the final authority.

Sacrificial Nonentities

The expendable protagonists and useless foot soldiers of villainy are the unimportant characters our fiction slaughters in droves. They are the sacrificial nonentities used to demonstrate threats, provide easy drama and grimly amuse us.

The Red Shirts of Star Trek and the teenagers of horror movies are the expendable protagonist archetype at its finest. The stormtroopers of Star Wars are the useless foot soldier of villainy at its best. All these imaginary victims have one very poignant thing in common: they are mortal and only human.

The Red Shirts are men and women dressed for work. Teenagers are our silly selves. The stormtroopers would not be so popular if robots rather than human beings dressed like robots. Our favorite sacrificial characters are the ones most like ordinary people.

Harm to our own stirs primal empathy, even if we hate the victims. Their pain may be our pleasure or their doom our amusement but only because the opposite can be equally true. The appeal of the expendable is their familiarity, even when this familiarity arouses our contempt.

We all fancy ourselves important… but know the inconvenient truth. Our lives are insignificant and our deaths inconsequential. Our only safety is being lost in a crowd. Our wits and prowess are no greater than that of a Red Shirt. We never lose our teenage silliness. We are no more “individual” behind our masks and wearing our armor than an Imperial stormtrooper. We know who these fictional characters really are.

Our fiction has its heroes, masterminds, sidekicks, henchmen and monsters. Each type has its distinct appeal in countless forms. The expendable protagonists and useless foot soldiers of villainy are no different in this regard.

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Imagine

Imagine a world where women are beautiful and virile men are out adventuring against flamboyant villains. Every struggle is good against evil and good is sure to prevail.

The fantasy is better than the reality. I write fiction. Why would I bother scribbling non-fiction when fantasy is better than reality?

Our world is filled with ugly women, heroes are not so adventurous and villains are more obnoxious than clever. Wars are power struggles and the best we can hope for is the triumph of the lesser evil.

There is a spirit beyond the dust and water of our worldly existence. There are struggles above and beyond the petty squabbles of factions, tribes and nations. There are connotations before and beyond the here and now. The grand scheme of things is a fantasy, indeed. Reality is shaped by the imagination.

Things are bad or about to be. A mastermind sets an agenda. His henchmen manage the operation. The nameless many provide an endless supply of cheap labor and cannon-fodder. People languish. A hero rises to the occasion. He acts against the nefarious agenda. He slaughters the cannon-fodder and bests their bosses. He ultimately confronts the mastermind. The adventure comes to fruition. THE END!

Do you know the difference between fantasy and reality? Is it the particulars or the gist?

A story rings true when true whether fiction or non-fiction. Reality is cause and effect. Fantasy is thoughts and feelings. The truth is the essence of actuality. It is the source of cause and the meaning of effect. It is the standard of thought and the basis of feelings.

There is a meaning of life. That meaning is not reality. It is our motive if we are good and our doom if we are evil.

There really are heroes, masterminds, henchmen, fair damsels and the nameless many. You must be heroic to be a hero. You must be masterful to be a mastermind. You must serve to be a henchman and fair to be the damsel. The nameless many are people by default.

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